Lazy Video Gamers

By Vanessa Dante (Dec 2015)

I enjoy playing video games every now and then. Who doesn’t? I could easily while away a few hours on a really cool Play Station game. In fact, my darling Rexy and I sometimes join forces and we rampage through dungeons, slaying monsters and looting treasure chests.

Another thing I like to do is get on Facebook and play Mafia Wars. Do missions, fight battles, gain experience. What I don’t understand though is why people spend so much time on it. There are people in my rivals list who seem to be on there EVERY time I play and there levels are so ridiculously high I can only presume they play 24 hours a day. Don’t they have a life? Is that all they can do, just sit there and click on the same button over and over, doing the same task over and over. I guess that’s why some people call it “Mafia Chores”. For me a few minutes is enough.

Perhaps there are some players who use automated programs to play for them, but what’s the point in that? Surely there’s no fun in having a computer play your computer game for you? Maybe I could make a fortune by starting up my own software company that creates programs like that. Can you imagine the advertising gimmick?

“Tired of playing the same old repetitious computer games? Is that really tricky bit driving you nuts? Is your Pacman always getting eaten by ghosts? Are you always getting killed by the cops in Grand Theft Auto?

Well here is the answer! This new computer program by Dante Gaming Solutions is just the thing for you! No longer do you have to deal with repetitious missions. No longer do you have to get so enraged that you throw your gaming controller through your TV screen. Just get a hold of “AutoGamer!” the new program that plays the game for you!

Just imagine all the time you will have on your hands now. Imagine all the work you could get done… the time you could spend with your loved ones… time spent actually doing something constructive!  Yes, get your copy of “AutoGamer” right now and never have to worry about all that wasted life ever again!”

You can tell I’m not a great fan of sitting around for too long in front of a television. I like to keep fit and active, plus I like to keep hot and sexy for my man… and our lady friends too. He he he, so I have to be very careful I don’t let a game hook me too strongly.

One game that I really had trouble breaking away from was Grand Theft Auto V. What a fantastic game, although there were some missions in that I really struggled with. That’s where my idea for “AutoGamer” would have come in handy. In fact, I had so much trouble, I decided to get on line and get some hints.

It was there that I saw some comments from some real hard-core GTA gamers talking about the taxi cab system in GTA-V. One guy was saying how he often used a taxi to “teleport” from point A to point B in the game super-fast, thus he was able to cut out all the time spent driving there in a car. Another guy hassled him about that and called him lazy! What? Yes, Lazy! To him, doing the shortcut by catching a cab was considered lazy, as opposed to spending 5 or 10 minutes driving to the location on the GTA map himself.

I really want to shake that guy. I wanted to say to him, ‘Let me get this straight. EVERY time you need to get somewhere in GTA, you drive to the location yourself. You never do the Taxi Cab short cut. So you spend hours and hours of additional time sitting in front of your TV, in an easy chair, driving around in a make-believe car, through make believe roads and you don’t consider that lazy?’

As soon as I thought that, I got up and turned off the Play Station. If that is the mentality of gamers today, I don’t want to be part of it!

Another thing that makes little sense to me is RPGers who spend hundreds of hours playing their games. They do battle after battle, killing monsters, so that they can gain extra experience and stronger weapons so they can kill even stronger monsters so they can gain more experience and stronger weapons so that they can kill… well you get the picture. I don’t know about you, but to me there is definitely something wrong with the logic in that.

My friend, Joe told me, ‘I get my guys so strong so that I can beat the final boss in two hits!’

I replied, ‘So let me get this straight. You spend hundreds of hours fighting monsters and levelling up, crafting super weapons, just so that you can spend 15 minutes less fighting the final boss?’

‘Umm…err… YEAH!’

‘How non-lazy of you.